Internet

"We don't actually set up your Internet, you'll need to phone the external company" Says the man at Customer Services, after putting me on hold for seven minutes.

I cannot be arsed, think I, and rifle around in my top drawer for that blue cable that was on the desk when I moved in.

I plug it into the relevant places.

That'll do just fine, says my laptop, and promptly connects me to the Internet.

Lesson learned: don't assume that being behind a help desk indicates that you know what you are doing.